Here I lie, Here I fly

Reaching for greater heights, I must push trough. To ups and down and impostor syndrome.

I know a lot, but am I expert at it?

It's crazy how much expectations we impose to ourseleves, as if the faith of humanity depends on it. It doesn't, but the constant chase for pleasing people that are in reality too busy as well pleasing other does, well to some extent.

Spotlight Effect

There is a phenomenon wherein people tend to overestimate how much other people pay attention to thier actions and appearance.

But the reality of it is; people are too busy minding their own business to pay attention to yours. Sonder - The Idea of realizing that every person has its own complex life as your own. It might seem that I am just throwing terms at you — well yes, yes I am. Anyway what I was trying to say? Oh yeah, I do believe that, as much as people hate to admit it. We grow by pleasing other people. What do you mean you just learn how to play a piano just because, no you did that to impress — you people pleaser. But whatever, you know how to play the piano and it is indeed impressive.

Why am I telling you this? Well as I finished "coding" my new wesbite's version, look, and overall aesthetic. I cannot help but wonder. Did I grow? Did I learn anything, do I know how to code more than before? Why did I overhaul my website? I mean in the hopes it lands me a J*b OF COURSE. Who am I kidding I did that to please people. You please people by showing that you grow, or you grow beacuse you hope to please people?

Imposter Syndrome

As AI becomes prevalent in the CS/Tech space, I cannot help but to feel that I am not learning how to code, I mean there is this something I feel that just I cannot put my finger at. Is it like the feeling that learning CS today is easier therfore less significant than the pre-AI era and therfore it make me feel some sort of way that — AI did everything that I am just a glorified, pretentious, and an Imposter. But why am I feeling this way, as if what I accomplished for the past months, doesn't count, that it I just keep clicking and typing things with the hopes it lands. Just like this blog am I right. But the truth is, I did learn and grow from those past months of explorations, trying a lot of things doing 3d Modelling, Animations, Coding, and even Writing.

It is just funny that in the idea you imposed to yourself to compare yours to things that arent really comparable and even far-fetched and therfore null. You manage to make yourself believe to something that it isn't, you did gain something and in anyway that is not less significant. It yours, and you should be proud of it. Like spotlight effect states you tend to overestimate how people percieves you, your knowledge gain with the aid of AI is not less than without the use of it. You leverage the tool that is in your disposal, because the reality of it is, it's here to stay and either you dont use and get behind or use it to advance.

Here is what people fail to realize, as the world move and progress. So does the complexity of the life of each. It's up to you if you let whether spotlight effect affects your self worth and the overblown idea how people perceive you utilizing AI and therefore you question yourself which harms your progress, or the notion of sonder that why care — complexity of each of their own, I am learning by my own phase and it's working, it's either I get behind and fall against my will. Or just I can rise above it.

I am not saying that AI should do everything and therefore there is no longer the need of CS, I do believe that in a perfect world CS and AI are co-workers. Think about this, the imagination of human unparallel amongst the greatest AI has to offer and the inhuman quickness of AI from the knowledge humans has and continuing to collect and create is the the perfect combination for progress. Collaboration about the latter should not be slept at, this is not me being and optimist but a being a realist.

The new design of my website is the product of this, I am not afraid to say it. What I did is not as less significant to someone who does this without — oh I do belive that is very possible. Look at this way, this is a subject people have been debating ever since, whether your masterpiece is freehand or with the use of grid — It is still both a masterpice at the end of the day and something to be proud of.

Utilize AI that benefits you, but not to the extent that it will do everything.

The perfect rainbow is both the sun refracting and the droplets interacts it both in the perfect time.